Good morning Reader,

This is Part 2 of a 4-part weekly series I've been doing on how to practice empathy in the midst of disagreements. Part 1 was about getting curious and asking questions to seek to understand within more challenging conversations.

Today, I'll be sharing part 2:

2) Identify your intention for this relationship.

If you're engaging with a customer, colleague, manager, or someone else, you may have various intentions. Maybe your intention is to exude a high level of customer service? Maybe your intention is to be seen as a capable team member? Maybe your intention is to be seen as someone who would be great to have on a future project?

Think about where there are opportunities within your conversation(s) to express agreement or to come up with a collaborative solution when differences arise. In Difficult Conversations training sessions I have done, the skillset of building consensus is one I often emphasis as an important piece of turning a difficult conversation into a more collaborative conversation. The book, Crucial Conversations: How to When the Stakes are High, has some amazing strategies for having difficult conversations transition into collaborative conversations that work to meet a common intention.
​

Keep your ultimate intentions in mind and if you're pushing back on a point, do it in a way that is tactful and professional. Ask yourself, "Do my tone, words, or actions move us closer to the intention I have in mind or further from it?" Then shift as needed to ensure you move towards your desired intentions for your conversation.

​

Practicing greater empathy even in the midst of disagreement requires ongoing effort to continue to develop this skill set. I'm sending well wishes your way if this is something you're currently working on!

Feel free to email me back if this email was helpful and as always, feel free to forward to anyone you think it could be helpful for.

​

Warm regards,

​

Daphne Valcin